To Stay or Go; Already Past the "Half-Way" Point

26 November, 2009. Universitatea de Nord din Baia Mare, camera șase, cāminul trei ('cause that's pretty much where I always am).

Officially I have one month left before the completion my ICCS Teaching Fellowship here in Baia Mare.  Since arriving (even before) there's been talk of finding a way to hire me and keep me longer. To date: no answers.  Although it appears Canadian Studies could certainly use another mind/body around here -- especially since Dr. Olos was told last week (yes, last week, mid-term, after she'd already begun her classes) that as a retired Prof. the university would no longer continue paying her -- people with actual solutions as to how I might stay here in any other capacity than as an illegal volunteer (which I am not willing to do) are apparently in short supply.  With the coalition government having fallen in Bucharest only days after my initial arrival in late September, no one (apparently) has been returning or answering phone calls at the Ministry of Education, which ultimately holds the cards in relation to me actually getting hired here (a requirement, in my understanding, for a work visa that would keep me here legally beyond the 90 days I am allowed as a tourist) (and the largely indecisive Presidential election held here last Sunday suggests there won't be a change of government anyway). But given the treatment retired faculty are shown here (despite an apparent lack of qualified young people to fill their shoes) I am not hopeful that a foreigner such as myself has any chance in drawing a pay cheque here (at least, not within the public system, as it currently stands). So, with this in mind I have applied for a "Canadian Leadership" grant through the Canadian Embassy in Bucharest. This will be my only hope for getting any funding to continue teaching here.  I'm told not to expect an answer on my application until at least mid-December -- a mere two weeks (at best) before I should be departing (not only Romania, but the EU) as a tourist.  So I am now faced with the dilemna of buying a ticket already to "go home" at Christmas (prices are rising considerably everyday I wait) or not. If I'm staying on here, it would make financial sense to just stay (and finances are a big problem in my life nowadays), but obviously if I'm not staying, then there's no need to stay here through Christmas (my time here is lonely enough, I can just imagine how lonely it would be over xmas).  And then there are days (like today) when I wonder if I should stay at all....  Yes, I'd like to stay "academically busy," and I suppose here is as good a place as any (thanks for nothing, Canada, on the wealth of opportunities presented to me thus far for the 2010 term), but I have to admit to a growing frustration with the sense that aside from a few people, I'm not certain I'm even appreciated here.  My students (pretty much the only "friends" I have) would like to keep me, so it seems, but if the institutional will is not present....?  I'm also a tad tired already of the noisy dorm I live in, the persistent smoking amongst the vast majority of the population here, and the fact I constantly feel I'm censoring myself against the sensibilities of religious and social conservatism.  Maybe these observations are entirely off-base, I'm not sure, but more and more I'm beginning to think not.